THE FROG HATCHERY

[Welland Telegraph, 18 September 1891]

There’s a hole filled with bull frogs galore
Just east of the Red Rocker furniture store
Where pollywogs thrive
And good citizens strive
Some plan to contrive
To keep the foul smell from their houses
Which the breeze o’er the frog pond arouses.

Filled with rubbish, and dirt, and old bones
Rags and tin cans, a few bricks and stones
Its water grow thick
Till the smell makes you sick
And you pass by it quick
Heave a sigh of relief as you strike the fresh air
Away from the fumes of the pollywogs’ lair.

It’s bad for the health of those who live near
It keeps them from sleep and diseases they fear
Go by when you please
One whiff of the breeze-
Whew! Limburger cheese!
Put a cork in your nose, give the place a wide berth
And make up your mind it’s the worst spot on earth.

Its fame has gone forth through the land
The stale, heavy odor is always at hand
Till you close up your smeller
And swear at the “feller”
Who owns the old cellar
And vow if you had him-the man of such riches
You’d dump him right into it, body and breeches.

It’s a boon to the doctors and vendors of pills
For it adds a big chunk to their customers’ bills
The waters are green
With diseases they team
Till it’s well to be seen
That with typhoid and ague it’s filled to the top
That foul smelling hole on the old vacant lot.

Complaints had been made without number
Till the council woke up from their slumber
Then aldermen wise
With opening eyes
Paid heed to the cries
Of the public which turned up its suffering nose
And threatened such wanton neglect to expose.

The owners were told of its horrible state
And warned to get on to a good lively gait
And fill up the place
That was a menace
To the whole human race
Or the laws of the land would be brought into use
To compel them to drain off that hole full of juice.

The summer is over and still it remains-
No pen can describe the filth it contains-
So now, Mr. Mayor
To make the thing square
Rise up and declare
That the hole shall be filled and no time be lost
And the owners charged up with the whole of the cost.